Equality in Marriage

(Ephesians 5:28 NKJV)  So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

It’s very interesting that God’s word tells men to love their wives as they love themselves. If we take a look at how many men do things, we will see why God says this.

When a man has an idea or starts working on a project, he will usually go after it with all of his being and he will eventually get it. Men are usually focused and determined to get things done and reach a goal and they let nothing get in their way.

Men usually tend to focus on one thing at a time and this can cause them to inadvertently shut all other things out while they focus on that single thing.

In the verse above God is talking specifically to men about how they should love their wives. He gives clear-cut instructions on how to do this. Again, because when men do something they do it with everything in them and all of their focus. This verse will help to bring balance to married men, to teach them how to do both and succeed!

Here are some examples to shed some light on this and help to bring some clarity.

How many men have a hobby? Whether it is being a musician, playing golf or baseball, going fishing, playing tennis, biking or going to the gym, it seems like most men have some kind of hobby or something that they do passionately and regularly.

These hobbies or activities usually take the man away from the wife and the family for hours at a time and will also typically involve spending good sums of money on a regular basis.

Now… how many of the wives have a hobby or something that they do on a regular basis? If we look at the number of women with hobbies (or activities that they’re passionate about) compared to the number of men who do, the numbers won’t even be close to the same.

Maybe some women can’t have a hobby because there is not enough money or time to support both people having one. Or maybe the wife doesn’t have time for a hobby or activity, because while the husband is out doing his hobbies, she is busy picking up the slack with the things he can’t get done around the house or in other areas.

If the man loves the wife as much as he loves himself, he will see this problem and do something about it, realizing that he is thinking only of himself. He will split up the time, the finances, the chores and so forth, and balance it out so that they can both spend a little time doing something they enjoy, outside of tending to the house and/or the kids, etc.

Today, the husbands need to take a good look at how they love their wives, and make sure that they are applying God’s words to their situation.

This is just one example of how men can love their wives, by being fair with everything they do, making sure they are not being selfish and forgetting about the needs of their wife.

This applies even to those wives that say, “oh, it’s OK, I don’t need much. I’m easy going”. They may be OK with what’s going on, but in reality, if they had a choice, they would enjoy doing something, even if it’s just getting out and spending some time taking a walk, enjoying a cup of coffee with a friend or something similar.

And remember… God is the one that we have to answer to and this is a commandment from Him for a healthy and loving marriage. So we need to be mindful of this and make sure we’re carrying it out in the way He wants us to, not just the way we want it to be.

And don’t get us wrong. This isn’t solely about hobbies. It isn’t just about dawdling away our time on useless activities. It’s about the relief that we all need once in a while from the daily grind. The world we live in will try to put a lot of stress on our marriage and if we don’t take the time to make sure it stays healthy, who will?

So it’s important that both, the husband and the wife, take time once in a while to set domestic duties aside and catch their breath with doing something they enjoy 🙂

Pastor Curt & Pastor Ellie